IFS Therapy
A compassionate, non-pathologising approach to understanding the mind
Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a model of psychotherapy developed by Dr Richard Schwartz. At the heart of IFS is a simple but powerful idea: having different "parts" within us is a normal part of being human.
We experience this multiplicity in everyday life. A part of us might want intimacy while another fears being hurt. One part may want to start a business while another doesn't believe we're good enough. Many of us are also familiar with an inner critic — and the shame or vulnerability that can surface when that critical voice becomes loud.
Rather than viewing these internal conflicts as pathological, IFS understands them as parts of an interconnected internal system — each shaped by our experiences and, paradoxically, trying to help or protect us.
Understanding our parts
Some parts take on protective roles. They may strive for perfection, anticipate what might go wrong, caretake others, criticise us, withdraw, or find ways to avoid feelings that seem overwhelming.
Other, more vulnerable parts of us may carry painful emotions and beliefs connected with difficult experiences — such as fear, shame, loneliness, rejection or a sense of not being good enough.
IFS does not view any of these as "bad parts".
Even when a pattern creates difficulty in our lives, we become curious about why it developed and what it may be trying to protect us from, rather than trying to simply get rid of it.
For example, a part carrying the belief:
"I'm not good enough."
may be protected by a perfectionistic part that believes:
"If I never get anything wrong, no one can criticise me."
Another part might respond:
"Don't even try — then we can't fail."
What can feel like self-sabotage may make much more sense when we understand the protective intentions underneath it.
Self and Self-leadership
Alongside our parts, IFS proposes that we each have access to an inherent capacity for qualities such as curiosity, compassion, calmness, clarity and connectedness. IFS refers to this as Self.
The aim isn't to eliminate our parts.
Instead, therapy helps us create greater space between ourselves and our automatic reactions, so that we can begin relating to our experiences with curiosity and compassion rather than being completely taken over by them.
As parts begin to feel understood and supported, they may no longer need to work quite so hard to protect us.
IFS may be helpful if you experience
- Trauma or relational trauma
- Shame and self-criticism
- Anxiety or emotional overwhelm
- Perfectionism or people-pleasing
- Fear of rejection or abandonment
- Difficult relationship or attachment patterns
- Internal conflict or indecision
- ADHD or neurodivergence
- Feeling stuck in patterns you understand but still struggle to change
What happens in IFS therapy?
IFS is an experiential form of psychotherapy.
Rather than only talking about what has happened, we may slow down and become curious about what is happening within you in the present moment.
You might notice a thought or internal voice, an emotion, an impulse, an image or a sensation in your body.
Rather than immediately trying to change it, we might explore:
What is this part concerned about? What does it fear might happen? What is it trying to protect you from?
Protective parts are respected rather than bypassed. If something in you doesn't feel ready to approach a painful experience, we listen to that too.
Therapy moves collaboratively and at a pace that feels manageable for your system.
IFS and trauma
IFS can be particularly valuable when working with trauma because many responses that create difficulty in the present may have developed as ways of protecting us.
Hypervigilance may try to anticipate danger.
People-pleasing may try to preserve connection.
Perfectionism may try to prevent criticism or rejection.
Emotional distance may protect against being hurt again.
Rather than treating these responses as something that simply needs to disappear, IFS allows us to understand the protective intention beneath them.
Over time, this can support a more compassionate and connected relationship with ourselves — allowing the experiences of our past to have less influence over how we live in the present.
Online & In-Person IFS Therapy
I offer Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy online across Australia via telehealth, with in-person appointments available on Mondays and Fridays from my clinic in Billinudgel, Northern Rivers NSW.
The clinic is conveniently located for clients from surrounding areas including Ocean Shores, Brunswick Heads, Mullumbimby and the wider Byron Shire.
You don't need any previous experience with IFS or know how to identify your "parts" before beginning.
We can simply begin with what you're experiencing now.